Wednesday, November 16, 2005

The Diagnosis: Major League Baseball Will Be Overrun With Cases of Adult Attention Deficit Disorder

As a result of yesterday's long overdue MLB agreement to test for illegal amphetamines, come spring training 2006 the percentage of Major League Baseball players diagnosed as suffering from AADD (Adult Attention Deficit Disorder) is sure to rise dramatically.

Amphetamines, in their legal form, (Adderall, Ritalin, Concerta....) have been and continue to be the primary treatment for ADD, in all its variations. They are a boon too the hundreds of thousands of children and adults who couldn't function without them; in spite of what one vertically and mentally challenged actor has to say.

Various estimates suggest that as many as 50% of active Major League ballplayers use or have used amphetamines in one way or another.

Sadly, many Major League ballplayers will surely use this loophole to feed a habit that has consumed baseball for more than 40 years. They will find a doctor who's more than willing to dia
gnose a case of AADD and prescribe a legal version of what they've been copping on the street for most of their careers.

After all it's a long season, why play fair when it's much easier to cheat. Hasn't that been baseball's motto?

Next up HGH (Human Growth Hormone). Another loophole for another day.

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